When relatives and friends who have tirelessly shown their love and affection for a dear departed once more gathered together to hold a memorial celebration of her first death anniversary and remember her as she was … alive and vibrant then it must be a special day and she must be a very special person.
June 19 marked the 1st anniversary of our Mom’s demise. She was 87 years old and has lived a robust and active life almost until the end. We the surviving siblings and the rest of the family members found ourselves looking back the details of her unexpected medical condition leading up to that fateful day. We felt off-stride and overcame by sadness. We're all thinking the same thing : one year ago we were celebrating Mom’s 87th birthday right here at this very same clubhouse or one year ago a week from today we learned of her devastating neurological condition that left us in a deep sense of shock. With such thoughts we shall overcome again by intense, painful grief that we thought was over. At times it probably seemed like forever since we last saw, embraced, touched and talked to that special person – our Mom. On the other hand, it seemed like only yesterday. We may be dreading the first anniversary and so anxious for today to turn up knowing that we have been able to make it this far. Whatever our anticipation, today will certainly be one with a flood of memories. Although it brings to mind the sorrow of our dear Mother’s passing but it is also an opportunity to revisit some wonderful memories of her.
We have faced many challenges in coping with the impact of the loss of a beloved family member. This is a good time to see how far we have come – where we are now – and where we would like to go from here:
We have come to recognize that God in His goodness has filled us with peace and hope that
enabled us to go through these extremely difficult times in our lives.
enabled us to go through these extremely difficult times in our lives.
We have come to recognize that grief is a process with no particular timetable. Each person
goes through this process at his or her own pace. And when we think back over the past 12
months we realize we have come a long way.
We have come to recognize that our loss has caused us to look at ourselves and our lives
differently.
goes through this process at his or her own pace. And when we think back over the past 12
months we realize we have come a long way.
We have come to recognize that our loss has caused us to look at ourselves and our lives
differently.
Indeed, grief does not end with the first anniversary, hopefully we can assert that we have learned a number of teachings this past one year:
We have come to learn never, never take for granted the gift of life.
We have come to learn that we can never make up the lost time. We have realized that we
have to make every minute count, fix broken relationships, and never forget that it’s always
the little thoughtful things that matter to the people we love. We only get one chance to
use those boxes of time as they pass us by. We need to make the most of every moment
because we don’t get a second chance ever again. Life is too short to leave kind
words unsaid.
have to make every minute count, fix broken relationships, and never forget that it’s always
the little thoughtful things that matter to the people we love. We only get one chance to
use those boxes of time as they pass us by. We need to make the most of every moment
because we don’t get a second chance ever again. Life is too short to leave kind
words unsaid.
We have come to learn that the tears in our eyes will eventually run-out and the memories which
hurt so much can become a healing bridge from the past to the future.
hurt so much can become a healing bridge from the past to the future.
We have come to learn to get used to a life just like the orphans struggling to find joy in
rebuilding their lives.
We have come to learn to receive and accept the love and support of those around us.
We have come to learn that the pain of loss is transient and the essence of family life is to
rebuilding their lives.
We have come to learn to receive and accept the love and support of those around us.
We have come to learn that the pain of loss is transient and the essence of family life is to
remain as one close- knit family that will grow deeper, stronger and livelier. Family must
always stick to each other and lend a helping hand when any of the family member
is facing difficulties in life.
We will keep on thinking upon our parents with fondness .Their love and compassion will
remain with us forever and we will treasure each day the legacy they left behind for us
to pass on to our children and our children's children.
Certainly, our Mom’s first death anniversary is a significant milestone. And today we congratulate ourselves for the notable achievement of coming this far – we can now look ahead to more opportunities and occasions of family activities that will further strengthen family ties and solidarity.
In behalf of my family and siblings, I want to express our sincerest gratitude to all of you who came and joined us including those who confirmed their presence but failed to show up due to inevitable circumstances ( yet who were with us in spirit ) in the commemoration of our Mom’s first death anniversary. Truly, you have brightened up the atmosphere and lifted our moods in one way or another. You have been our refuge in coming to terms with our loss. Being surrounded by people like you was a large part of our Mom’s mortal life. Many of you expressed such beautiful sentiments that we have no trouble figuring out why Mom enjoyed her life here on earth. I’m sure if she could see us now gathered together celebrating life in her memory she would have explicitly expressed her approval and appreciation.
Thank you all for your love, friendship and relationship you shared with our Mom; Thank you for your sympathy and truehearted support you have generously given out to us as we cope with our bereavement. Knowing that you will miss her too, makes our burden a bit easier to bear. All these, meant a great deal to the family. Finally, allow me to quote a passage by Dr. Elizabeth Ross - a distinguished Psychiatrist from Switzerland who has written a book on Death and Dying and I quote:
"People in mourning have to come to grip with death before they can live again. Mourning can go on for years and years. It doesn’t end after a year; that’s a false fantasy. It usually ends when people realize that they can live again, that they can concentrate their energies on their lives as a whole, and not on their hurt, and guilt, and pain."
Thank you all for your love, friendship and relationship you shared with our Mom; Thank you for your sympathy and truehearted support you have generously given out to us as we cope with our bereavement. Knowing that you will miss her too, makes our burden a bit easier to bear. All these, meant a great deal to the family. Finally, allow me to quote a passage by Dr. Elizabeth Ross - a distinguished Psychiatrist from Switzerland who has written a book on Death and Dying and I quote:
"People in mourning have to come to grip with death before they can live again. Mourning can go on for years and years. It doesn’t end after a year; that’s a false fantasy. It usually ends when people realize that they can live again, that they can concentrate their energies on their lives as a whole, and not on their hurt, and guilt, and pain."
