My Musings for Today

Have I ever felt like God is not for me? Did any circumstance tempt me to doubt God’s love? Were there spiritual/emotional forces or persons have I felt were against me? How did God reveal His love for me? These are the questions that haunt me. But, God in His goodness has led me to read in the scriptures enlightening me about the truth that evil will never ultimately prevail. I may feel defeated today, but the encouraging words taken from Romans 8:31 became my life verse because it brought me much comfort and confidence.

Have a blessed Saturday guys!

I Love My Children To The Moon and Back!

I can’t believe my four sons are all grown ups. It seems just like yesterday when they were knee-high to a grasshopper and I used to share children's books with them at bedtime - it was a fun, warm and loving experience reading aloud to them these stories from Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat, Fox in Socks, Guess How Much I love You, etc.Wow! How time flies! I can truly say that the happiest time of my life was when they were little ones and carefree. I say that the best thing I did for them was to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, experience life on their own terms…let them be better persons, let them believe more in themselves. I don't know where those splendid days went. And I just feel emotionally ambivalent these days - desperately missing them in their cute, little, excited for everything and anything toddler and little boy phases.I'm anxious - and it's difficult for me to go into another phase of life as they go into their respective new chapter of their life. Having used about the house filled with children is a wonderful thing for most of us moms. I'm getting edgy how time is growing closer for my children to be launched to lead their own lives. Eventually, I have to let go of them. But one thing is certain " I'm mad about them - I love them to the moon and back!

Why Do I Write

Reading the written works of one of my favorite spiritual writer, Henri Nouwen, has affirmed and reaffirmed me that writing itself reveals to us what is alive  in us. According to him, the deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. And i agree with him that to write is to begin on a journey whose final destination is unknown. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves, “ I do not yet know what I carry in my heart , but I trust that it will emerge as I write.”  It is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to give away on paper or online the few insights that come to us, we start recognizing how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches.

Yes, I love writing. I have been writing since elementary school and my  very first ever  written work  at the age of 8  – a poem  ( sadly i forgot the title) which was posted  in my school’s newsletter.

I write purposefully  or by accident and promptings where  there is pen and paper and type writer machine and nowadays where there are smartphones, ipads,  laptops or personal computer within reach.

Why?

To reminisce. To dig into my past.

To be seen and heard.

To expose the person that hides inside me.

To inspire and illuminate the way for other people who walk in darkness

To calm down a mind that dashes.

To be close to those I love.

I love to write because I am sentimental,  nostalgic, and demand happy endings.
I love to write because my heart speaks a different language that someone needs to hear.
I love  to write past the embarrassment of exposure.
I love to write because hypocrisy does not need answers, rather it needs questions to heal. 
I love to write myself out of  fantasy, dreams and nightmares.

I want to write

Knowing conversations don’t always take place.
Because speaking can’t be reread.
Because my passions are volatile and ever-changing
Knowing I will fall on my words, but no one will say it was for very long.
Because I want to paint the world the way I see God’s love and goodness should be.

Knowing I will be wiped out by my own words, stabbed by critics, persecuted by both misunderstanding and understanding

To leave a legacy.
To make sense out of senselessness.. 

I like to write for the dreamers, the lovers, the lonely,  the wounded , the abandoned and the haters.
I like to write

Because one day someone will tell me that my sentiments, views and posture  were not a waste of time. 
Because God loves different chapters of a story.

I like to write because one day I will be gone, but what I believed, imagined  and felt will live on.

Mother's Day 2014 Celebration

                                       Lunch Buffet at Heat, EDSA Shangri-la Hotel

                                         
                                               At the Lobby Lounge, EDSA Shangri-la Hotel

                                                   Outside the Heat, EDSA Shangri-la Hotel

                                         Family Lunch Buffet at HEAT, EDSA Shangri-la Hotel

                                                           Lobby of EDSA Shangri-la Hotel

                        Visiting the graves of our Mom, Dad and Golda at Manila Memorial Holy Cross Park

Mother's Day 2014 Message for our Mom

A Mother's Day Without You, Mom

Four years ago today was the first Mother's day we didn't get to spend with you.
Four years ago today we knew that the next Mother's day we would spend without you either.
Four years ago today we began a long downward journey into emptiness, depression and grief.
Today we will continue to honor you and pay homage to your amazing feat as one incredible mother who fought a good fight for us - one who demonstrated extraordinary strength, courage, dedication and love. We want to honor you by thanking God for the many Mother's Days we did spend with one another and for the powerful and positive impact you had upon our life each and every day you lived.

Thank you for always being there for us. Thank you for giving this whole motherhood thing your all. We sure do appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts.
And, as always, we miss you like crazy.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. We love you to the moon and back.

Family Impromptu Afternoon Tea Party at 1837 TWG Tea, Shangri-La Plaza.

Sunday Family Bonding