Why Do I Write

Reading the written works of one of my favorite spiritual writer, Henri Nouwen, has affirmed and reaffirmed me that writing itself reveals to us what is alive  in us. According to him, the deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. And i agree with him that to write is to begin on a journey whose final destination is unknown. Thus, writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves, “ I do not yet know what I carry in my heart , but I trust that it will emerge as I write.”  It is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to give away on paper or online the few insights that come to us, we start recognizing how much is hidden underneath these thoughts and gradually come in touch with our own riches.

Yes, I love writing. I have been writing since elementary school and my  very first ever  written work  at the age of 8  – a poem  ( sadly i forgot the title) which was posted  in my school’s newsletter.

I write purposefully  or by accident and promptings where  there is pen and paper and type writer machine and nowadays where there are smartphones, ipads,  laptops or personal computer within reach.

Why?

To reminisce. To dig into my past.

To be seen and heard.

To expose the person that hides inside me.

To inspire and illuminate the way for other people who walk in darkness

To calm down a mind that dashes.

To be close to those I love.

I love to write because I am sentimental,  nostalgic, and demand happy endings.
I love to write because my heart speaks a different language that someone needs to hear.
I love  to write past the embarrassment of exposure.
I love to write because hypocrisy does not need answers, rather it needs questions to heal. 
I love to write myself out of  fantasy, dreams and nightmares.

I want to write

Knowing conversations don’t always take place.
Because speaking can’t be reread.
Because my passions are volatile and ever-changing
Knowing I will fall on my words, but no one will say it was for very long.
Because I want to paint the world the way I see God’s love and goodness should be.

Knowing I will be wiped out by my own words, stabbed by critics, persecuted by both misunderstanding and understanding

To leave a legacy.
To make sense out of senselessness.. 

I like to write for the dreamers, the lovers, the lonely,  the wounded , the abandoned and the haters.
I like to write

Because one day someone will tell me that my sentiments, views and posture  were not a waste of time. 
Because God loves different chapters of a story.

I like to write because one day I will be gone, but what I believed, imagined  and felt will live on.